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Old 11-25-2005, 07:59 PM   #1 (permalink)
primus
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Join Date: Nov 2005
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Default "It is" vs. "It seems" vs. "I choose"

"It is" vs. "It seems" vs. "I choose"

Using the verbs "seem(s), feel(s), act(s), look(s)" has become a quite popular way to replace "to be". However, I'd avoid using these verbs as much as possible because in my experience, they only mask the problems caused by "to be" rather than leading to a real solution. If you claim ownership over your feelings and illuminate the (otherwise implicit) choice you make in experiencing them, you will gain access to the linguistic tools that allow you to to tackle what had previously "seemed" impossible.

Here's a practical example:

Initial statement:
"This problem is impossible to solve." (initial statement)
Making a disempowering statement such as this one only rarely leads to a solution.

"This problem seems impossible to solve." (basic e-prime)
This e-prime statement, while better than the original version, leads you into the wrong direction and does not contribute much to finding a solution.

"I cannot solve this problem."
With this e-prime statement you take control of the situation and imply that even though you can't solve the problem, others might have the abilities to do so, and that it therefore might not "be" totally impossible to solve the problem. This statement leads you into the right direction. You can further refine it as below.

"I believe that I cannot solve this problem."
Now you emphasize the act of believing which caused you to arrive and insist on the conclusion that you cannot solve the problem. Believing implies uncertainty... you only believe that you can't solve it, but maybe you can.

"I believe that I cannot solve this problem right now."
Adding the "right now" makes your limiting belief even more conditional. You believe that you can't solve the problem right now, but maybe you can solve it later today or tomorrow.

"I choose to believe that I cannot solve this problem right now."
Now you take ownership of your belief by describing the process of choice that led you to making use of it. Now that your belief has become a conscious choice, you can easily make a different choice, e.g.

"I now choose to believe that I can find a solution"
Now that you have replaced the word "problem" with the word "solution", your entire focus has changed. (The "now" puts further emphasis on the fact that you can make a difference immediately.)

End Statement 1:
"I now choose to do whatever it takes to find a solution."
This action statement motivates you to take action and find a solution.

End Statement 2:
"I now choose to do whatever it takes to achieve this goal."
Instead of "finding a solution to the problem", you might just as well tackle the desired outcome directly. This could prove advantageous in situations where the "solution to the problem" paradigm might actually lead you further away from your goal.

Example:

Perceived problem:
"I want to travel around the world, but I don't have enough money."

Perceived solution:
"I need to make money, then I can travel around the world."

Questions that could lead to a more direct solution:
"How can I travel around the world without any money?"
and/or
"How can I get paid to travel around the world?"


I look forward to your feedback about this quick draft. I'll integrate your comments and suggestions into a future version of this article.
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